"Well I’ve been afraid of changin’ Cause I’ve built my life around you. But time makes you bolder. Children get older and I’m getting older too.”
- Stevie Nicks
This is a pivotal time in my life. I believe that this is the most uncertainty that I have felt since the injury. I know that there are others who have undergone this process and I feel for them. My family has been amazing to me yet it is now time for me to attain a life of my own. I never really thought about it; I need to attain a life worth living for myself. I know that this process will be a scary one but it is necessary for me. Stevie Nicks’ song is typically a wedding song but for me it is ringing true as I begin to embark on the next portion of my life.
My parents are not going to be here forever and they are making sure that plans are in place for me so that I can progress with my life even when they are no longer here. I love Stevie Nicks’ song because it captures the bittersweet emotions of getting older. Following an injury we have to realistically look down the road. There are certain things that I must consider for my life moving forward. I have had to realize that it may not be beneficial for me to live completely alone. At thirty-three I hate to admit this but it is what it is. The aftermath of this injury has been emotionally very difficult on me. I have to acknowledge this and proceed forward knowing that I am emotionally a bit fragile following my TBI. I hope that many can identify with the difficult place that I find myself. I know that difficult portions of your life prepare you for the difficulties that will present themselves is life. I am friendly with many survivors that have had to take on independent living. I know that it was not easy for any of them. I guess I always thought that I was different; I now know better. I will continue sitting with therapists as I try and navigate through this next portion of my life. Many of my friends have already had children and many have shared how difficult this journey must have been on my family. I find it difficult to not compare with my brother who has a beautiful family and an incredible job.
I need to keep reminding myself this is my journey and that it is unique to my story. Every one of us has our own story that we must proceed along to make a life for ourselves. This life is what we make it and I know that the next portion (living independently) will prove to be very difficult for me. I have to trust that there will be supports in place for me. I thank you very much for reading.